Husband Wife Daily Jokes

Husband Wife Jokes

Wife to Husband:"Come Help Me in Garden.." 
Husband: "Wat do U think I am? A Gardener??" :P

Wife: "Come Fix the Toilet Faucet..!" 
Husband:What do U Think I am? A Plumber??" :P

Wife: "Come fix the Door Handle.." 
Husband:What do U Think I am? A Carpenter?? :P

[The Husband Went Out but When He came Back, 
He Saw that Everything was Fixed..! 
The Garden, Toilet Faucet & the Door Handle..!] 
He Asked his Wife Who did It?? 
The Wife Said: "Its the Neighbor's Pintu's Father, 
But He gave Me two Options... 
Either to Make Him a Burger; 
Or have A Kiss With Him..!"

Husband:I'm Sure, U gave Him a Burger..! :)) 
Wife: "What do U Think I am? 'Mc'Donalds' !!!

Whatever you do you have to Pay TAX to the Government

Q: What are you doing?
A: Business.
Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX

Q: What are you doing in Business?
A: Selling the Goods.
Tax: PAY SALES TAX

Q: From where are you getting Goods?
A: From other State/Abroad
Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY OCTROI

Q: What are you getting in Selling Goods?
A: Profit.
Tax: PAY INCOME TAX

Q: How do you distribute profit?
A: : By way of dividend
Tax: PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Q: Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
A: Factory.
Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY

Q: Do you have Staff?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX

Q: Doing business in Millions?
A: Yes or No
Tax: If yes, PAY TURNOVER TAX; if no, then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Q: Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
A: Yes, for Salary.
Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX

Q: Where are you taking your client for Lunch Dinner?
A: Hotel
Tax: PAY FOOD ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Q: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Q: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY SERVICE TAX

Q: How come you got such a Big Amount?
A: Gift on birthday.
Tax: PAY GIFT TAX

Q: Do you have any Wealth?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX

Q: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
A: Cinema or Resort.
Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Q: Have you purchased House?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY STAMP DUTY REGISTRATION FEE

Q: Want to run away to another city?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY TOLL CESS

Q: Any Additional Tax?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL CESS SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT TAXES

Q: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
A: Yes
Tax: PAY INTEREST PENALTY

Please  Pay your TAX  on Time to avoid complications from govt. :)

OR one day will come when you will ask

Q: Can I die now?
Govt. -> No, wait we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX !!!

 

What is the definition of GAALI in HINDI

हिंदी की कक्षा में एक विद्यार्थी ने दूसरे से पूछा:

 

गाली की परिभाषा बताओ? तो दूसरे विद्यार्थी ने जवाब दिया: ...

अत्यधिक क्रोध आने पर शारिरिक रुप से हिंसा न करते हुये ,

मौखिक रुप से की गई हिंसात्मक कार्यवाही के लिए चयनित शब्दों का वह 

समूह  जिसके उच्चारण के पश्चात मन को गहन शांति का अनुभव होता है ,

उसे हम गाली कहते हैं...:)

Donate Blood - Save Life

TOP 5 Reasons to donate Blood

1) You will weigh less — one point less when you leave than when you came in. You will walk a little taller afterwards — as you will feel good about yourself.

2) It's easy and convenient — it only takes about an hour and you can make the donation at a donor center.

3) It's something you can spare — most people have blood to spare.

4) It's something you can do on equal footing with the rich and famous — blood is something money can't buy. Only something one person can give to another. Most people don't think they'll ever need blood, but many do.

5) You will be someone's hero — you may give a newborn, a child, a mother or a father, a brother, or a sister another chance at life. In fact, you may help save up to three lives with just one donation.

It's the right thing to do.